New York: WEDNESDAY

Considering the day before, I agreed to spend half of the day in bed as Craig ventured out to do more sight-seeing in NY. He chose destinations that I didn’t mind missing at all…the Jerry Seinfeld diner, and the Natural History Museum. SNOOZE!!! Craig came to get me by dinner time…we stopped by a pizza place (I know…but the pizza is just so good!!), and we finished the evening by shopping around Madison Square. Once the stores all closed, we began walking back to the hotel, stopping at, what ended up being, another great Irish Pub: McGee’s Pub.

New York: TUESDAY

POSSIBLE TMI ALERT:
Craig and I woke up early this morning in hopes of beating the crowds for a viewing of the Statue of Liberty. We got all dressed up and ready to head out, We stopped by our Hotel’s café and had two bowls of oatmeal for breakfast. Before heading out on our venture, I decided to use the Hotel restroom. Upon using the restroom, I noticed a little bit of blood on my underwear. I freaked out!!! WHAT THE HECK?!?! I rushed out to find Craig waiting for me in the lobby. I gestured to him that we needed to go to our room immediately. When we got in the elevator, I told him that I was spotting and I didn’t know what to do. We went to our room, I used the restroom again, and the blood was definitely red (new blood) so I knew something had to be wrong.
Craig is always so good in these situations…always strong and extremely sensible. Me, on the other hand, I just freak out as though it is the end of the world. I just started crying on the bed because I couldn’t think of what to do. Yes…I know…you go to the hospital!!! But we were all the way in New York, away from my own OB/GYN and away from all of the hospital staff that I knew from having worked at St. Joes for a number of years. Our fear was that we would get some ER doc who knew extremely little about pregnant cases and that they wouldn’t know how to properly take care of me. With Craig’s quick thinking, I ended up calling my OB/GYN and using their “on call” system. Unfortunately they refused to page my dr. saying that the only thing I could do, considering my circumstances, was to go to the ER. Craig then decided to call my insurance to see if there was any OB/GYN near our hotel that would accept our insurance. They gave us a list of numbers, however, none of them wanted to accept new patients. THANKS A LOT!! So we were left with only one option now, to go to the ER.
We quickly headed back to the lobby and requested the bellman to fetch us a taxi car. We told him to take us to the Lennox Hospital (Craig found the name of the best hospital in area using his iPhone). The taxi driver dropped us off at the ER entrance. As Craig paid the driver, I ran inside to get the paper work started. To our surprise, as soon as they heard that I was 22 weeks pregnant with bleeding; they immediately fetched a wheel chair and took me straight up to labor and delivery. You would think that this would be a good thing, and it really was…but at the same time, IT TOTALLY FREAKED ME OUT!!!! I just lost it as she rushed me through the doors. It was as though the doctors were waiting for me. As soon as we entered L&D, a doctor came right up to me, asking me a bunch of questions. They sent Craig back downstairs to get me registered as a patient while another nurse helped me into a room and gave me the beautiful hospital gown to put on. When I was all dressed and ready, she quickly hooked me up to a machine so as to hear Emily’s heartbeat…and there it was, loud and clear. As we waited for the doctor, another nurse came in and asked me a bunch of the typical questions: Did you fall? Did you have any cramping/pain? Etc.
When the doctor finally arrived, she first did an ultrasound to see Emily and the placenta. Everything looked great. Emily was moving around as though nothing was wrong. That was relieving to see. The doctor then said that she would do a “speculum” exam to see if she could find the cause of the bleeding. Before going forward with the exam, she said that in most cases they can’t find a cause…however, as soon as she started the examination…BINGO. She had found the cause of the bleeding, and apparently it was still bleeding. Without going into too much detail, there was an issue with my cervix. Fortunately, it was not at the opening of the cervix…it was on the side. Because of this, the doctor was not concerned at all. She used some “silver nitrate” to cauterize the bleeding and basically sent me on my way. She said that I didn’t need any bed rest and that I could continue on with our vacation. So…off we went, with every intention to take it slow and easy.
We decided to take advantage of the subway system from here on out, and do as little walking as we could. We headed down towards “China Town”, “Little Italy”, and “Soho”. While there, we ate at the best restaurant in NY, Shopsins. Craig had actually watched a documentary about the restaurant/hole in the wall. The food was SO GOOD!!! Later, we went back to the hotel with enough time to get ready for our Broadway show and dinner. Then…I went to the restroom as it was as though I was in the middle of a heavy period. I yelled out to Craig, “We have to go back to the hospital! I’m bleeding again, and it’s a lot worse now!!!” I couldn’t help but freak out again. This was so much worse than earlier in the day. We rushed back down to the lobby. I’m sobbing while Craig is trying so hard to be strong. The bellman hailed a cab and we told him to take us to the Lennox Hospital. I couldn’t stop crying the whole drive to the hospital. When the cab driver finally came to a stop, it didn’t look like the same hospital. Craig asked him, “Is this the Lennox Hospital?” “Yes, yes it is”, he said. So Craig paid the driver, while jumped out and ran inside. IT WAS NOT THE SAME HOSPITAL. Do we stay? Do we go? My bleeding is worse; did we really have a choice? I went to check in. The man only asked for my name. He then directed me to sit down and wait for them to call my name. I told him that I was 22 weeks pregnant with heavy bleeding; he again told me to sit down and wait to be called. That was all I needed, I told Craig that we had to find the right hospital, besides…all of my patient information was already in the system at the other hospital, and the nurses and doctors already knew my situation. We quickly hopped into another cab, and told him to get us to the Lennox Hospital. Now this guy was no joke…he knew we meant business and he wasted no time at all. I immediately reached for my seat belt and let the man do his thing. I couldn’t even watch him driving, IT WAS INSANE…but he got us to the right hospital lickity slit. We ran inside, and just like old times, up I went to the labor and delivery floor in a wheel chair. Thank you Lord…all of the same staff from earlier was still there. They were so nice, so helpful, and so quick to tend to me. Granted I couldn’t get a room right away, but they did everything in their power to move people on their way to make room for me.
Once I was settled back into my old bed with a fresh new hospital gown, the same doctor came in and got straight to business…with another “speculum” exam. I’m not even kidding, as quickly as the exam started she was out of her seat and rushed to the door to call out for another doctor. Talk about FREAKING OUT!!!! What’s with the rush? And as though that was the worst of it, she left the curtain open, along with the door as she called out for the other doctor. GIVE ME SOME SORT OF DIGNITY HERE!!! There I was, in all my glory, for the world to see. I begged Craig to cover me up. The second doctor came in, and together they assessed the problem and attempted to get it under control…which they did, though not as quickly and as painless as before. Whatever they did down there ended up causing so much cramping for me, it was horrible. Again, however, the doctors were still not concerned about the bleeding, more specifically it was the area of bleeding that supposedly caused no threat. Once they were sure that the bleeding was stopped, they let me rest for awhile before getting dressed and going about my way. Once more, they said that I didn’t need bed rest, that I would be fine.
It was too late to go to our Broadway show, so we agreed to go to our hotel. As I rested, Craig headed out to try and get the Gershwin Theater to allow us to use our show tickets on another day (which they did) and to get dinner to bring back to our room. Regardless of the doctors saying that I was going to be fine, with all of the stress of the day, Craig and I both agreed that it would be in our best interest if I spent, at the very least, half of the day tomorrow in bed.

New York: MONDAY

Who needs an alarm clock in NY when you have hundreds of taxi cars *honking* at each other early in the morning? I have no idea what time we actually woke up, but when we did we were ready to hit the streets of NY. Day one, we really didn't have a schedule for the day. We just decided to hit the pavement and what we would run into. First things first, we found a Starbucks for a quick "on-the-go" breakfast, and what do you know...Central Park was just across the street. Hand in hand, we walked over to Central Park and took in all of the scenery. I had no idea how large the park actually was. I don’t even know if we made it half way into the park…though we walked around for a couple of hours. While in the park, we ran into an outdoor auditorium where a high school band was playing, we found the “Friends” fountain (the one in their opening credits), we also found a castle, a couple of restaurants, some playgrounds, etc. This park has just about everything. Unfortunately we couldn’t the find the ice skating rink, but my legs were already starting to get tired and we had much of the day in front of us. We found an edge to the park and decided to walk around the neighborhood…it was then that this extreme feeling of having to go “pee” suddenly hit me. CRAP…we were nowhere near a clean restroom. So…it was time to step up the walking. Craig and I picked up the pace…I have no idea how far, or how long, we had to walk before we were able to find a “clean” public restroom. It just so happened to be the very Starbucks that we started our day with.
From Starbucks, we found our favorite pizza place: Amadeus Pizza…so good!!! We continued walking around and found ourselves in the middle of Times Square. WOW!!! It was just amazing, dramatic!! While in Times Square, we walked in and out of each of the different stores. We were stopped by a man selling tickets to a comedy show later that day…so we thought, “Why not? Let’s do it!” We finished up at Times Square and MY FEET WERE KILLING ME!!!
With the time change, our day was quickly slipping away. We still needed to find somewhere to have dinner before we headed out for the Comedy show. As we headed back towards our hotel we came across an Irish Pub…perfect!! We found a small table near the window and ordered our dinner, and then it was off to the Comedy show. Because our feet were killing us and our legs were getting sore, we attempted to use the New York subway system. It was exactly how I imagined it to be…dirty, stinky, dark, yet extremely convenient. The comedy show was OK, a bit crass, but there were a couple comedians that we were pretty great…others a bit awkward, making you question whether you should laugh or not.
After the comedy show, we went straight to the hotel to try and catch up on some more sleep. Our plan for tomorrow was to wake up EARLY (6:30AM…which is 3:30AM Seattle time) so that we could be in front of the crowd to view the Statue of Liberty. Little did we know, Emily had other plans for us.

New York: SUNDAY

Not much to tell about this day. Our plane was supposed to leave at 3PM, but kept on getting delayed. We finally boarded the plane at 6PM, which gives us an arrival time of 2:30AM (considering the time change in New York). We arrived at our hotel a little after 3 in the morning and went straight to bed!!

22 Weeks

I am just about 22 weeks along now and I have to say, Emily has taken after her mother. By that, I mean that she is ALL gymnast!! I swear, yesterday she was practicing her can-cans...all day long...in the exact same spot. My emotions were getting the best of me yesterday and I began to get a little worried for her. For some CRAZY reason, I wanted to cry because I thought she was stuck in some odd position and couldn't get loose. Yes, I know that is crazy, but you have to understand, my emotions have been all over the place recently...poor Craig.
Well, I was relieved today when Emily FINALLY adjusted herself and I have been feeling her all over my belly. Seriously though, it feels like I have only felt her kicking in one spot for the last few weeks.

Emily Elizabeth Wright

Yes...Craig and I finally decided on a name for our little girl. We tried so hard to stay away from the top 100 list, but ended up choosing #1 on the list. I know...I know...Emily is supposedly "so popular", but, as a teacher, I have yet to have any students go through my classes with the name "Emily". Since we have been married (ten years ago), we have NEVER been able to find a name that we agree on. A few days ago, Craig thought of the name "Emily" and we both loved it!! After finding out that it was #1 on the list, we didn't really care.
Emily means: Industrious, Ambitious
We chose to have Elizabeth as the middle name for a couple of reasons. First, it was really important to me to have a name with a strong meaning. The meaning behind "Elizabeth" is: God has promised. I thought that was perfect, considering our history. Second, it was one of the few names that we thought flowed well with Emily.

Now, I shared our name choice with a couple of colleagues and they informed me that "Emily Elizabeth" is the name of the girl in the story book, "Clifford, the Big Red Dog". How ironic because Craig and I have a "big red dog". I don't know...I don't think it will be a problem at all. Its not like Emily is going to go around saying her first and middle name to everyone.

It is fun calling her by a name now. We no longer call our baby "it", or even "she"...we get to call her "Emily". I just love her name!!!!

We Are Having A Girl!!!

Check back tomorrow evening...I will post my daughter's pictures.

Hind Sight is 20/20

So...it is truly amazing to see what has come about from my four years of torture by way of infertility. Recently, Craig and I attended an evening service at church. At some point, Pastor Dean mentioned a new ministry that he wanted to get started and I knew right away that I wanted to be a part of it. The ministry reaches out to women through abortion clinics. I don't know the exact details of the ministry yet (it is all still in the work), but he talked briefly on how he wanted the women to know that no matter what choice they make that God still loves them with all His heart. It won't be a bunch of us standing outside a clinic with picket signs, but rather going inside and meeting the women, handing them gifts with information, etc. Possibly checking up on the women to see how they are doing and meeting up with them for coffee to just talk. I love it!!!
So...I talked to the Pastor who was put in charge of this ministry and she wanted to meet me for coffee to get to know me and see where I would best fit in with this new ministry. When we met, the first thing she asked of me was to share my testimony with her. She knew a little bit about our challenge and success through church meetings, but she didn't know any of the details. As I began to share with her, from beginning to end, the ups and downs...mostly downs, the heartaches, the struggles, etc. I ended up completely surprising myself when I just broke down...in the middle of the coffee shop. I was surprised because I was no longer in the depths of my depression, yet simply talking about it all brought so much back to the top. When I started to talk about our IVF procedure and seeing our five embryos on the TV screen...and then getting the call two weeks later that none of them took...I could barely get the words out to her. In a way, it felt so good to talk about it. I think I have only shared the whole story with one other person (others would hear the story as it was happening), and even then I couldn't get through it without crying.
When I finished my testimony, Pastor Tiffany said that I gave her goose bumps. She asked me if anyone has ever told me what came from the message that Pastor gave based off of my letter (I wrote a post about that message somewhere down below). I told her I had no idea. She shared with that there was such a huge response from women that day. So many woman came forward to receive forgiveness for past abortions because they have never been able to forgive themselves. She also said that there were a number of woman who were pregnant and considering abortion, but have made the choice to give their baby life.
I couldn't believe it!!! I remember the day Pastor Dean gave that message. I remember Craig and I walking away that day, in tears, saying that if our story helped to save the life of just one child...it would make the past four years worth it. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat!!!

I KNOW that infertility sucks!!! I KNOW the doubts and frustrations that it can cause. I KNOW the lies that Satan uses to feed you when you are in the midst of that torture. And I KNOW NOW that God can take the worst part of your life and use it for His glory. I can easily say that the worst part of my life was when I found out that I had lost my five babies...but you know...I look back now and I am so blessed that God could use my babies to save the lives of others. My babies had a clear purpose from God. Without them, I would have never written my letter to my Pastor. Without that letter, my Pastor would have never given his message on life...using that to speak directly to woman who have had abortions or were considering abortion. Without that message, those woman would have continued living a life of condemnation and listening to the lies that Satan kept feeding them. Without that message, those woman considering abortion may have gone forward with it. I am confident that I will see my babies in Heaven someday and until then, I will pass on their story to their new little brothers/sisters.
Don't ever give up!!!

RED ENVELOPE DAY!!!

I have never heard about this day, but I'm glad I ran across it!! Apparently March 31st is "Red Envelope Day". On this day, we are asked to send empty red enveloped to the White House with the following written on the back:

"This represents one child who died because of an abortion. It is empty because the life that was taken is now unable to be a part of our world. Responsibility begins with conception."

I hope that the word quickly spreads about this day so that the impact will be grand.

Here is a link to the website:
http://www.redenvelopeday.com/

I Felt the Baby Move Today!!!!

March 1st, 2009...mark this day as the day I finally understand the whole "butterfly" effect in your belly. So many people have told me that when you feel the baby move it is like you have butterfly's in your stomach. I couldn't really imagine that feeling...until today. Ever since my 16th week, I thought that I was feeling the baby, and maybe I was...it just felt like someone was inside my belly pinching me. However, today was a completely different experience. Craig and I got in the car to go to church, and all of a sudden I felt this crazy tickle in my belly...one after the other. It was as though the baby was doing a summer-sault. It was absolutely AMAZING!!! As the day went on, I felt a few more "tickles". I loved it!! I cannot wait until I can feel the baby on the outside of the belly so that Craig enjoy the fun too.