I love you all...but seriously, some things that people say to me are just without common sense!!! I can't tell you how tired I am of hearing the CLASSIC story of "I know a person who"...
A: couldn't have children either. Once they relaxed...*POOF*
B: got pregnant as soon as they decided to adopt
C: adopted a child and then they were able to get pregnant on their own
And while I'm on the subject...if you do have kids, don't complain about them to me!! Make sure never to utter these words to me: "This is what you have to look forward to, are you sure you know what you're getting into?" Are you kidding me?!? Seriously!!! Really?!?
Whatever the story, whatever the circumstance, please don't compare it to me!! I am tired of the millions of stories. It sounds to me that...you all probably know the same one person. It is a small world out there after all. My situation is mine, and mine alone. Whatever happens to me on this journey is unique. It won't be because I am finally "RELAXING" or because I have finally decided to adopt. Not to be rude, but I really don't care to hear about who you know. As if I don't feel broken enough...how am I supposed to feel when I still don't get pregnant after adoption?!? Don't get me wrong, that is not why I am doing adoption, I'm just saying...what is the point of your story? What am I supposed to feel when I hear of someone else who had this miraculous pregnancy?
So...I found this post on the Do's and Don'ts of what to say to your infertile friend, written from someone with experience!! It is REALLY good!! Just click on the link below...enjoy!
Life in The Polar North Defrosts: What not to say to your infertile friend
I'm so totally with you!. Even now, at 43, people are convinced that we will be pregnant before our adoption journey is over... *sigh* There is actually a shirt that lists "what not to say to me'! I had the link, I'll see if I can find it!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.cafepress.com/evilgeniusstore/1993828 (warning, some are too rude for me)
ReplyDeleteAnd don't forget when they say "What if someday you do have your own children?" or "Where is their mother?" Hello! These are MY OWN children and I am THEIR MOTHER!!!!! And, while I may complain about my little people from time to time, I love them the same as any good biological mother loves her children and more than most! As an adoptive mom, I have had to fight for my children, in one case for FIVE, yes, FIVE years before the state would call her MY child! Imagine someone being pregnant that long! Adoption is a hard enough road without hearing the insensitive comments from well-meaning people who don't think before they speak!
ReplyDeletelove the T-shirt...great idea.
ReplyDeleteWe started a "favorite questions" section on our blog of all the ACTUAL things that people have said to us throughout our adoption journey.
Oh, and don't forget the, "I didn't even know they weren't your real children." To which I reply, "No, I keep the real ones in a box at home so they don't get broken." Geesh...
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