Still not sure as to what the "requirements" are for our adoption profile (size, # of pages, etc), I decided to sit down with Craig in an attempt to begin writing our DBML (Dear Birthmother Letter). I had no idea where to even begin. We started out by looking all over the internet and reading other couples DBML's. It gave us a small idea of things that we wanted to cover in our own letter.
This truly was a teamwork effort. We had an idea of what information needed to be covered, but we also knew that we somehow needed to try and stand out. (I actually read a blog from a mother searching for adoptive parents for her unborn child. She said that she had a pile of 300 letters to review...300.
I started writing the letter...deleting...and writing again. After I had a solid paragraph written, Craig took over and wrote a few paragraphs about each of us. Once he got tired, I took over one last time. I made a few slight alterations, added a few more paragraphs about our family and our personal lives, and then brought the letter to a closing.
I read it aloud to Craig...and we loved it!! I can't believe we actually completed it in one evening. I sent the letter in an email to each of our parents so they could read it over and catch any mistakes that I may have missed...but for the most part, it's done.
This was the one thing that I was dreading the most. It just feels like you are trying to sell yourself as future parents...that's exactly what it is. Well, hopefully the birthmother is able to get a true glimpse into who Craig and I are when they read our letter.
Heather, for what it's worth, our attorney told us birth mom letters are a thing of the past. They just want to see photos in your profile. Maybe you've been advised differently, but I wanted to let you know just the same. We found that writing our autobiographies was the most difficult. There is no right or wrong number of pages for your profile, it's entirely up to you what you want to share with a potential birth mom. Hope this helps. Feel free to ask me anything! Best of luck, Julie (www.afamilyisborn3.blogspot.com I know you follow).
ReplyDeleteOne thing I advise people is to stay away from the term "birthmother." Until she relinquishes, she is simply an expectant mother or a mother. Some see the use or "birthmother" as slightly coercive.
ReplyDeleteI write on my blog about open adoption and adoption issues (among other things), and I also have a website with tips for adoption profiles.
http://weebleswobblog.blogspot.com
http://profilesthatgetpicked.com/tips.htm
Best wishes, Heather!